Rules of the Classroom:
1) Never date single mothers. Dating equals porking.
-Too much of a risk. She already made one mistake and some guy is paying out his asshole for the next 18 years of his life. Probably paying vaginamony, also known as alimony and/or child support. Also the kid will always remain #1 in the
relationship. You will always take the backseat. Although single mothers may seem to be "easy,"
you don't want to deal with this baggage if all you want to do is bang. There are plenty of chicks out there without children... including in Seattle
believe it or not.
2) Never spend more than $40 on a date. If possible, let her pay for everything.
-There is no reason you should feel
obligated to pay for anything. However,
there is nothing wrong with splitting things 50/50. If you can get away without paying a dime...great. More tail for less money bottom line.
3) If she doesn't bang you by the third date, Dump That Bitch (DTB)
-Chances are she has no intention of EVER screwing you. Why should you invest your time when all she just wants to do is string you along. You would be wasting time and money so move on. If she really wants to bang you, she will come to you after the third date ends.
4) No spooning, cuddling, hugging, or staying over.
-Get in and get out. (No pun intended). If all you wanna do is bang, this can send them the wrong message that you want more.
5) Never get involved with a co-worker unless you dont mind losing your job over it.
-In today's world, a man can be burned with
sexual harassment very easily. Limit your conversations with female co-workers to the following:
A) Hello
B) How are you (that's optional)
C) Goodbye
6) Women like men who are assholes.
-If a woman sees that you are a pussy, she will walk all over you. If they think that you are a busy guy and hard to get a hold of, the more they will want in your pants.
7) The "Looks/Self-Esteem Ratio"
The number at the top of the ratio is a 1-10 rating on her looks...you want this to be as high as possible. The number at the bottom of the ratio her self-esteem...you want this to be as low as possible. (i.e. a 9/4 is a nice catch. 5/10 ratio would translate to TMW or Too Much Work) Also if the self-esteem digit is too low, it could lead to problems such as a "lick-it-around-the-edge" type of chick.
8) Never buy a chick flowers, candies, teddy bears, etc.
-It is a
waste of money. Buying a chick gifts with the intent on getting in her panties is usually a waste. There is no guarantee you'll get some just because you bought her gifts. Doing so would break rule #2 easily. A woman decides within the first 5 minutes of meeting you whether or not she wants to have sex with you and no amount of limo rides, expensive gifts, or fine dining is going to change her mind.
9) Men and women can't be friends.
-For a woman, a guy friend is just a guy waiting for a chance to get in her pants. They are
thinking about it all the time. These are usually the same guys who will wait for any sort of breakdown between you and the chick. Then they will swoop in. If you plan on having any sort of
relationship with a certain chick, do not allow guy friends. By the way, never be a guy friend.
10) Women like to keep guys on the back-burner.
-Most like to keep their options open...always having someone available on the side. Don't let this be you. You will find it very hard to get out of.
11) Chicks with nice racks will usually tell you about it.
-If you ask a chick if "do you have a nice rack" and she gets offended, it usually means she is a member of SAG. Women with nice racks usually have no problem with
talking about it...sometimes in great detail. BOIINGG!
12)
Catholic school equals crack in the ass.
-If you are dating (a.k.a. porking) a chick that went to
catholic school. She probably likes a nice crack in the ass once in a while, maybe more often. Give her what she wants.
13) Men don't like to dance
-Men will dance to get laid. Women dance to get men and attention. If you are an exeption, you are probably gay or latino.
14) Women by nature are
attention whores.
-Self-explanatory.
15) Chicks like to travel in packs.
-This allows the hot one a means to escape. Usually it's the ugly one in the group that will ruin your chance of separating one of them from the group. Your chances of
getting laid are better when you split them up.
16) Fat chicks give good hummers.
-Fat chicks love to eat.
17) Never get married untill you are a minimum 25, recommended 30.
-Lack of experience. Wait untill you've had your share of partying. If you are considering a threesome for example, do it before you get married to
get it out of your system.
18) Never carry or hold a chicks purse.
-They are testing you. Don't do it, bottom line.
19) Buying Drinks helps.
-Women like to have the booze factor. A little yagermeister works wonders. Also when a guy buys a chick a drink, it means he either:
A) he wants to see her naked
B) he wants to bang her
C) both.
