Unfortunate town in the south of Scotland. Really a lost part of Cumbria, this township lacks genetic diversity and humour. Famed for fat men riding horses up a hill, the fact that a famous person once drove through and that their rugby team once won a half without the need for performance-enhancing alcohol.
"Nah, a dae 'hink sae..."
"Aye, nah, a ken, nah a dae 'hink sae..."
Cheif of the Defence Staff: "We need a new nuclear testing ground".
Aide "Have you heard of Langholm?"