A dirty, dirty, dirty, whore. Most likely large and redheaded. Native to the backwoods and mountainous areas near Chattanooga, but whose extended range can reach northern Tennessee near Harriman. Been known to receive BIGASS discounts at the Golden Gallon. If you come across KOIVU, run immediately. Do not make eye contact with the creature...as doing so may give you herpagonasphillatitus of the eyes. If you do see a KOIVU....jab sticks into your eyes...not 100% necessary...but you will probably want to.
I went to Pizza Hut the other day and this nasty looking KOIVU gave me herpagonasphillatitus of the eyes and I gouged my eyes out.
by Asstastic6969 June 24, 2010