Kelp Dick

The affliction of spending too much time boogie boarding, or sea activities until it inflicts you with a case of kelp in or on your genitalia. Whilst looking and smelling horrible, it somehow fascinates the females of the species.

Tobes: Migs, come on man - stop surfing we've got to go hit the bar for TSBs!!
Migs: Nah man, chicks will dig my Kelp Dick ! Give us ten minutes

by MickeyDangerous May 29, 2009

Flag

Get the Kelp Dick mug.

california kelp forest

When a woman does not wash her genitals for an extended period of time, which causes her pubes to become matted, resembling long strands of kelp. It will likely cause the smell to resemble a trash-riddled kelp forest.

I went home with Trashy Tracy™ last night when when I got hammered. She had the nastiest California Kelp Forest, even worse than Nasty Natalie™

by Ritapopper12 January 9, 2018

Flag

Get the california kelp forest mug.

Put Down the Kelp

Means stop sucking dick. In spongebob, theres an episode where the krusty krab sells Kelp drinks and it shows spongebob slurping on the straw, so it means stop slurping on dick.

Matthew: "Oh my god Nathan, you have the best handles and the best shot in basketball and youre really good."
Nathan: "Thanks?"
Nick: "Put down the kelp matthew, jheeez"

by fumastyle November 5, 2017

Flag

Get the Put Down the Kelp mug.