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1.
Kassage is recondite

Little is known of where he came from, and one never knows where he truly is (he is a ninja). But one thing is certain: he will definitely be somewhere in the future.

The Illuminati.

Kassage is often spotted, albeit briefly, in social functions. After imbibing an unquantifiable amount of alcohol, he will propel himself into a debate on promiscuity. His public discourse can frustrate his companions. Such frustration is to be naturally expected when trying to comprehend Kassage's explanations; it would be akin to trying to fathom how a person could be in five places at the same time while simultaneously not existing.

I wish that I had more to say about Kassage, but, as you remember, he is a ninja, and archives can offer very little information on the subject.
Kassage: Did you see any ninjas on Halloween?

Me: No

Kassage: Of course you didn't! They're ninjas!
by nutterbutterbites November 08, 2010