A fictional character that has appeared in advertisements for the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia since 1959. He typically appears alongside his sidekick Conchita that carry's sacks of harvested coffee beans. "100% Colombian Coffee the richest coffee in the world"
Even though apparently "Juan Valdez drinks Costa Rican coffee"
He is also seen in Bruce Almighty
Even though apparently "Juan Valdez drinks Costa Rican coffee"
He is also seen in Bruce Almighty
"Who's that guy the rides mystical donkeys though the hills of Columbia,and picks Bag after Bag of coffee beans?"
"OH that's Juan Valdez."
"OH that's Juan Valdez."
by the FRenchporker March 7, 2009
Hey buddy, you look like you could use a little grundle butter in that coffee - let me give you a Dirty Juan Valdez.
by Glowsand December 14, 2010
When an individual wipes his ass with a cofee filter, brews a pot of fecal java and pours the brew over his woman as he slams the warhead into her. Inspired by the infamous Hot Carland Dirty Sanchez and similar to theGolden Shower.
Mr. Ken's girl was tired of getting Hot Carl'd so he surprized her on her birthday with a Dirty Juan Valdez!
by Dr. Switch October 24, 2004
The infamous cargo-carrier that ran aground (due to Captain Joseph Hazlenut's having downed one too many cups of joe) in Alaska and spilled thousands of pounds of Colombian coffee into the bay, giving the surrounding wildlife a major case of the caffeine-jitters and thus causing them to behave really weird for weeks afterwards. The fiasco caused a major "media-buzz", as well.
After the U.S.S. Juan Valdez accident, coffee-transporting cargo-vessels were required to pack their coffee in separate thick-walled metal shipping-containers rather than just bulk-filling their holds with the dry product, to reduce the chance of the coffee's just spilling right out into the ocean if the ship's hull is breached.
by QuacksO August 5, 2018
"don't talk to me till I've had coffee"?
psh
whatever
don't talk to ME till I've spent 20 min blazing through a Juan Valdez jacuzzi
psh
whatever
don't talk to ME till I've spent 20 min blazing through a Juan Valdez jacuzzi
by CoraMunroBoat June 12, 2017