A terrible boy band who almost every girl in the world is obsessed with.

Joe Jonas: A total jerk who sounds like Miley Cyrus mixed with two cats fighting. He tries to sound sexy when he sings, but in all, he fails epically at life.

Kevin Jonas: Use to have a cool hair style until he got that gay perm. Now he looks like he's a creepy 30 year old pedophile.

Nick Jonas: Because he's diabetic, all diabetic girls fall in love with him and cry because he suffers everyday. I get it. My best friend is a diabetic and she's in love with Nick, but that's not the only reason you should love him. You should love him for more reasons (if you can find any). (PS: I'm not hating on diabetics). He supposedly writes all the songs. Well, they suck. He tries to sound nice, but really he sounds like a squirrel with a sore throat.

The TV Show: Super bad acting. I just got done watching the Halloween episode with my mom and brother (I don't have power over the TV unfortunately). Kevin is the worse.
JB fangirl: Hey! Have you seen the Jonas Brothers in concert??? THEY WERE AWESOME!

Normal girl: What the hell. You actually went to see them? They suck!

JB fangirl: NUH UH! YOU DON'T KNOW GOOD MUSIC!!!

Normal girl: Good music? JONAS BROTHERS SUCK!!! -kicks JB fangirl into a dark abyss-
by Jenica Arcos October 17, 2009
Photos & Videos
A shitty, pop, rock band that makes it harder to apperecite good music today. People who claim to be fans of this 'band' usually fall under the line of being female, 6-17 years old, disney channel/high school musical lover, types LiKeSs tHIssS!!! and is extremely annoying.
Person 1: OMG I lOvE tHe JoNaS BRoThErs!! Did yYYou sEe tHem oN DiSnEy CHaNnelLL LaSt nIgHt!!!??

Person 2: No, shut up and go listen to real music instead of drooling over people who don't even write/play their own songs.
by thejonasbrotherssuck March 20, 2008
Little parasites that hang on the ends of pubic hairs around the testicles and deliver venomous bites that turn the scrotum to mush.
Man #1: Ever get that feeling that you can't even feel your nuts?
Man #2: Um...no?
Man #1: Oh. Um, is that a bad thing then?
Man #2: I would think so.
Man #1: (feels down pants) Holy shit! My nuts are jelly!
Man #2: Seems like you've got the Jonas Brothers, my friend.
Man #1: Oh my god, how could this happen? I was so careful.
Man #2: Did you have sex with that Hannah Montana girl Miley Cyrus?
Man #1: Shit! She told me she was safe!
by Big Dong Long Wong April 14, 2008
1) Another word to describe cocksucking incestrous gay men.

2) A group of sodomizers.

3) Penis suckers.

4) Another word to describe men who insert objects twice the size of pineapples into their anus for pleasure and don't remove them for two weeks in order to stretch their butthole to its largest.

5) The lack of douche.

6) Tight pants wearing cross-dressers.

7) An anal yeast infection. Highly contagious.

8) Racist bastards who believe in nothing but the killing and deletion of African American and Jewish people. They use their music to hide secret messages from the public.

9) Descendants of KKK grandmasters.

10) A group of Jew-cunt faggot bitches that likes chode down their throats.
1) Nick Jonas: I feel like choking on cock today.
Joe Jonas: Me too. Let's go find a cock to choke on.
Other Jonas bitch: Let's Jonas Brothers!
All: Yeah!

2) Hick: You're one of dem Jonas Brothers! We don't accept your kind around this here town!
Jonas Brothers: Let's sodomize you, hillbilly! You're gonna take it!

3) Jonas Brothers: (sucking cock) Yummmmmm.
Man: You guys are a bunch of Jonas Brothers.

4) Woman: Doesn't that hurt your anus from all that Jonas Brothering?
Nick Jonas: Nope, it feels quite good to Jonas Brother.
Joe Jonas: I need something seven times the size of a pineapple now! My anus is stretched so far if I fell on someone's head I'd literally swallow them into my body.

5) Man: Your vagina's starting to smell like the Jonas Brothers!
Woman: I have a lack of douche, sorry.

6) Nick Jonas: (in dressing room) Are my pants too tight?
Other Jonas Brother: We're the Jonas Brothers. Of course not!
Joe Jonas: I think I lost my vagina in these pants.

7) Man: I have a burning sensation in my pants, doctor.
Doctor: I'm sorry to report that you have a serious case of the Jonas Brothers.
Man: How long do I have to live?
Doctor: I'm afraid not long. I'd say around three hours. It's that bad.

8) Man: Shit!
Black Man: Shit, it's the Jonas Brothers! RUN!
Jonas Brothers: We're gonna get you, nigga!

9) Jonas Brothers: (on stage dressed as KKK Klansmen) I'm sure glad to be a Jonas Brother! My grandparents would be so proud of us!

10) Man: Fuck, it's the Jonas Brothers. Kill me now.
Jonas Brothers: (choking on cock) I sure like chode down my throat! Mmm!
by Jonas Brothers April 12, 2008
Someone once said that, given an infinite amount of time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters could write out the works of Shakespeare. As for the Jonas Brothers : One monkey in five minutes.

Jonas Bro 1: Hurry up monkey, we need a new song!
Monkey: HOOO HEEE hOOOO HEEE!
Jonas Bro 2: Holy shit! That monkey's talented! Alright guys lets go record this.
And another Jonas Brothers song is created, ready to receive the adoration of their devoted fans.
by upyurs December 22, 2007
The worst thing that ever happened to music.
Just a bunch of religious-wackjob pretty boys in vests and dress-shirts with too much eyeliner.
Someone: Oh my God, help, the Jonas Brothers are on the radio! 911!

Me: Here, this should help! *slides CD "Nevermind" by Nirvana into CD player*

Someone: Ah, thank you! So much better. *sighs and begins to play air guitar to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"*
by MrsRachelCobain July 10, 2008
A band that 9-17 yr. old fangirls like because they're mildly good-looking (thanks to airbrush, photoshop, and liposuction) and sing about getting with girls (and possibly boys) with as many innuendos as Disney allows them.

For example, their song "Burnin' Up" refers to their inability to "get it up" and as a result get Prostatitis. Their other equally crappy song "I Am What I Am" refers to them all coming out of the closet while their song "The Muffin Man" discusses weather the muffin man could, in fact, be a female (with debatable herpes aka "blueberries").

By signing this band, Disney is promoting erectile dysfunction and hermaphrodites. There is possible "Jonascest" occurring within the band and anyone who listens to them is a racist.
Fangirl: THEIR SONGS ARE ALL FOR ME!!!11! OMJ, THEY WANT ME! THEY WANT ME SO HARD!

Sensible person with music taste: STFU bitch, Jonas Brothers suck more dick than a homosexual during Mardi Gras.
by BeccaQuinlan July 18, 2008
ball suckers
the jonas brothers are ball suckers
by JTB Mo'Fxuk@z July 12, 2008

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