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64.
The three male offspring of a father obsessed with The New Kids on The Block. Currently in his midlife crisis, he misses The New Kids on The Block so much that he drinks because of it. One day he got too drunk and decided to bring back The New Kids On The Block.... Through his children. Through a series of rape, incest, and brainwashing, he turned his kids into The Jonas Brothers, Three kids who were brainwashed into thinking they are The New Kids on the Block. They are now signed up to the disney channel and only appeal to pedophiles and mormon children.
Pedophile: DAMN!!! them Jonas brothers are sexy! I sure wish I was their father.
Mormon kid: Yayy the Jonas Brothers are my favorite band, their so hardcore. I like them because my mom wont let me listen to satanic music like Green Day or Coldplay.
by school_sick_801 December 05, 2008
 
1.
A shitty, pop, rock band that makes it harder to apperecite good music today. People who claim to be fans of this 'band' usually fall under the line of being female, 6-17 years old, disney channel/high school musical lover, types LiKeSs tHIssS!!! and is extremely annoying.
Person 1: OMG I lOvE tHe JoNaS BRoThErs!! Did yYYou sEe tHem oN DiSnEy CHaNnelLL LaSt nIgHt!!!??

Person 2: No, shut up and go listen to real music instead of drooling over people who don't even write/play their own songs.
by thejonasbrotherssuck March 20, 2008
 
2.
Little parasites that hang on the ends of pubic hairs around the testicles and deliver venomous bites that turn the scrotum to mush.
Man #1: Ever get that feeling that you can't even feel your nuts?
Man #2: Um...no?
Man #1: Oh. Um, is that a bad thing then?
Man #2: I would think so.
Man #1: (feels down pants) Holy shit! My nuts are jelly!
Man #2: Seems like you've got the Jonas Brothers, my friend.
Man #1: Oh my god, how could this happen? I was so careful.
Man #2: Did you have sex with that Hannah Montana girl Miley Cyrus?
Man #1: Shit! She told me she was safe!
by Big Dong Long Wong April 14, 2008
 
3.
1) Another word to describe cocksucking incestrous gay men.

2) A group of sodomizers.

3) Penis suckers.

4) Another word to describe men who insert objects twice the size of pineapples into their anus for pleasure and don't remove them for two weeks in order to stretch their butthole to its largest.

5) The lack of douche.

6) Tight pants wearing cross-dressers.

7) An anal yeast infection. Highly contagious.

8) Racist bastards who believe in nothing but the killing and deletion of African American and Jewish people. They use their music to hide secret messages from the public.

9) Descendants of KKK grandmasters.

10) A group of Jew-cunt faggot bitches that likes chode down their throats.
1) Nick Jonas: I feel like choking on cock today.
Joe Jonas: Me too. Let's go find a cock to choke on.
Other Jonas bitch: Let's Jonas Brothers!
All: Yeah!

2) Hick: You're one of dem Jonas Brothers! We don't accept your kind around this here town!
Jonas Brothers: Let's sodomize you, hillbilly! You're gonna take it!

3) Jonas Brothers: (sucking cock) Yummmmmm.
Man: You guys are a bunch of Jonas Brothers.

4) Woman: Doesn't that hurt your anus from all that Jonas Brothering?
Nick Jonas: Nope, it feels quite good to Jonas Brother.
Joe Jonas: I need something seven times the size of a pineapple now! My anus is stretched so far if I fell on someone's head I'd literally swallow them into my body.

5) Man: Your vagina's starting to smell like the Jonas Brothers!
Woman: I have a lack of douche, sorry.

6) Nick Jonas: (in dressing room) Are my pants too tight?
Other Jonas Brother: We're the Jonas Brothers. Of course not!
Joe Jonas: I think I lost my vagina in these pants.

7) Man: I have a burning sensation in my pants, doctor.
Doctor: I'm sorry to report that you have a serious case of the Jonas Brothers.
Man: How long do I have to live?
Doctor: I'm afraid not long. I'd say around three hours. It's that bad.

8) Man: Shit!
Black Man: Shit, it's the Jonas Brothers! RUN!
Jonas Brothers: We're gonna get you, nigga!

9) Jonas Brothers: (on stage dressed as KKK Klansmen) I'm sure glad to be a Jonas Brother! My grandparents would be so proud of us!

10) Man: Fuck, it's the Jonas Brothers. Kill me now.
Jonas Brothers: (choking on cock) I sure like chode down my throat! Mmm!
by Jonas Brothers April 12, 2008
 
4.
Someone once said that, given an infinite amount of time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters could write out the works of Shakespeare. As for the Jonas Brothers : One monkey in five minutes.

Jonas Bro 1: Hurry up monkey, we need a new song!
Monkey: HOOO HEEE hOOOO HEEE!
Jonas Bro 2: Holy shit! That monkey's talented! Alright guys lets go record this.
And another Jonas Brothers song is created, ready to receive the adoration of their devoted fans.
by upyurs December 22, 2007
 
5.
The worst thing that ever happened to music.
Just a bunch of religious-wackjob pretty boys in vests and dress-shirts with too much eyeliner.
Someone: Oh my God, help, the Jonas Brothers are on the radio! 911!

Me: Here, this should help! *slides CD "Nevermind" by Nirvana into CD player*

Someone: Ah, thank you! So much better. *sighs and begins to play air guitar to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"*
by MrsRachelCobain July 10, 2008
 
6.
A band that 9-17 yr. old fangirls like because they're mildly good-looking (thanks to airbrush, photoshop, and liposuction) and sing about getting with girls (and possibly boys) with as many innuendos as Disney allows them.

For example, their song "Burnin' Up" refers to their inability to "get it up" and as a result get Prostatitis. Their other equally crappy song "I Am What I Am" refers to them all coming out of the closet while their song "The Muffin Man" discusses weather the muffin man could, in fact, be a female (with debatable herpes aka "blueberries").

By signing this band, Disney is promoting erectile dysfunction and hermaphrodites. There is possible "Jonascest" occurring within the band and anyone who listens to them is a racist.
Fangirl: THEIR SONGS ARE ALL FOR ME!!!11! OMJ, THEY WANT ME! THEY WANT ME SO HARD!

Sensible person with music taste: STFU bitch, Jonas Brothers suck more dick than a homosexual during Mardi Gras.
by BeccaQuinlan July 18, 2008
 
7.
ball suckers
the jonas brothers are ball suckers
by JTB Mo'Fxuk@z July 12, 2008