Top Definition
A corrupted spelling of Jesus, especially when used as a swear word.
Aw Jeezus, I pissed my shorts again.
by LudwigVan December 06, 2003
The worshiped deity who is the antithesis of the historical figure Jesus. He hates gays, does not allow women to end pregnancies from rapists, believes in Ayn Rand style individualism, guns, hatred of others who do not worship Jeezus, public prayer in schools and political events, and Social Darwinism. When compared to the historical Jesus who told his followers to sell all and give to the poor, render unto Cesar that which is Cesars (pay your taxes), judge not lest ye be judged, pray in your closet unlike the hypocrites who pray on the corner, and the kingdom of god is within you; we can see the direct contrast of the deity worshiped and propped up by some sects of Christianity.
Jesus was a nice guy, he wanted to help the sick, poor, and outcasts of society.

Jeezus carries assault rifles and thinks killing abortion doctors is justifiable.

Jesus said to turn the other cheek.

Jeezus says "Annihilate all those who do not believe in me as you do."
by The Divine Is Within Us All January 03, 2011
A word used in vain instead of Jesus, because well, you never know man, you never know.
Jeezus man, that's some str8 bullshit
by Sajai K. November 18, 2004
A solid form of pasteurized kangaroo semen.
Gooday mate, what say we go wrangle us up a
fresh batch of jeezus.
by Wyatomic January 16, 2009
A reference for extremely potent Marijuana.
Yo, my nigga, lets toke up on that jeezus tonight, yea?
by Kotex January 15, 2009
Used as ghetto shit statement to present some enquiry o worshiping to the lord savior
- Malcom: Yo mate, I'm on a date with ya sista
- Roy: Jeeezus Malcom! What the heck?

- Leeroy: Yo dawg, I almost died today at the gunshot.
- Roy: Thank lord Jeezus!
via giphy
by Jeezusss September 25, 2015
Jeezu is a larger quantity of jooece after it goes through the solidifying process and becomes a type of...SAND.
*knock* *knock*
Reply: "MAN WHAT THE FUCK!!! I told you I am having jeezu, not jooece; it will take much longer!!!"
by The Vriech Crew August 09, 2006
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