A rugged Mountainous Man. A man who has reached the utmost heights of masculinity, even towering over Chuck Norris. This man has learned every art of pleasing women, often accidentally acquiring a harem of doting females. A Jack Carnage hates others who pick on the weak, often reminding the Beta bitches who's territory and friends they are fucking with. He is also immune to snake venom. Never play Poker, Uno, or any other card game with this creature, as he can summon any card with magic. Yes, that's right. He's also a wizard. Like Gandalf the Gray.... if he was a Redneck. You can spot this magical creature by his distinctive features. Shirtless, a beard that grows all over his body at an alarming rate, a deep southern accent, and He prefers to wear a leather hat. Possibly a trophy from his latest kill. If you are to encounter a Jack Carnage, promptly offer him alcohol and an alligator steak. DO NOT ANGER THE JACK CARNAGE
by The victim of jack carnage April 24, 2022