"I am currently displeased with what is occurring in my life"
is the only alternative to the popular 'fml' phrase seen on the internets (most widely seen on myspace, facebook, and blackfacebook see daily show).
Any attempt to use any other phrase or lingo to express disdain for what is occurring in ones life is commonly referred to as 'gay'.
Martin: My response to that is this: you're a fag and your shit is all retarded. Use 'FML', faggot.