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1.
This is a phrase that has the same meaning as "I don't really care" or "I could care less". It is a saying of apathy and disconcern about something or someone.
So that prick over there hates me? I could give two shits about him!
by Turd Burgaler June 23, 2005
 
2.
Disregard the first dumbshit definition of this phrase. It's grammatically correct. "I could give two shits. (But I don't)"

Synonymous with "I don't care.:
"I could give two shits about that."
"hurp dont u mean you COULDN'T give two shits?"
"You are a fool."
"wat"
by smartman418 November 09, 2011
 
3.
A gramatically INCORRECT phrase that lamen (i.e. retards) use when they really mean to say "I couldn't give two shits". See could care less and couldn't care less for more of this fuckwittery.
Jerome: I could give two shits.
Lewis: You're a fucking idiot. Die.
Jerome: What?
by Titmaster1233 November 20, 2008