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I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator 

Translates to I'm Josie, and 100 dollars is an understatement.
I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator is something you wouldn't say on a first date.

im searching random thing on urban dictionary cuz im bored

"oh I wonder what would happen if i search for exactly what i'm doing. hmmm, like 'im searching random thing on urban dictionary cuz im bored', oh wait there is actually a definition.

HELP IM SHITTING (random object/thing) 

used by people on tiktok as a reaction to a mildly funny tiktok that apon reading will instatly make the video unfunny.
"BRO HELP IM SHITTING (random object/thing)"
"i can guarentee you typed this with a straight face shut up"