An awkward, often painful handjob given by an inexperienced female where the recipient's penis is squeezed in a pulsing manner rather than stroked up and down, resulting in the discomfort of the recipient.
"I thought she knew what she was doing up until she completely crushed my penis with her Hulk Hands."
by hulkhands May 20, 2010
Using both of your fists(hands) to fist two women at the exact same time. One girl on each fist(hand).
Damn bro! I heard that Kyle and Chad both had Hulk Hands at Jake's party the other with 4 Jamestown girls. They are true super herebro's.
by RoboChad August 9, 2012
by Type-Z Evolution June 15, 2004
When one aggressively inserts his hands into the vaginas of two plus-sized females simultaneuosly, in a Toys 'R Us parking lot.
"Instead of buying Christmas presents for his kids this year, Chad decided to spend his money on something for himself, so he got 2 prostitutes and gave them Hulk-Hands for Christmas."
by Martian12 August 10, 2012
A plus sized female with an extremely broad chest, Flintstone feet, watermelon-sized-massively unattractive, saggy breasts, thinning-badly box-jobbed, brass colored hair that has had the same style since the early 2000’s, who has humongous sausage fingers on her obscenely LARGE man-hands.
-Usually married to a racist, conspiracy nut, girly boy, who lets his wife beat him with her bare Hulk-hands or with weapons such as candlesticks or unopened Coke cans.
-Enjoys snacking on already eaten pizza crusts that have been thrown away in the garbage bin for at least 4 to 6 hours.
-Is extremely keen on worming their way into every aspect of one’s life… ie “a SWF”
Definition made popular by Marvel Comics Plastic Toy “hands” of the same name. Circa 2002.
-Usually married to a racist, conspiracy nut, girly boy, who lets his wife beat him with her bare Hulk-hands or with weapons such as candlesticks or unopened Coke cans.
-Enjoys snacking on already eaten pizza crusts that have been thrown away in the garbage bin for at least 4 to 6 hours.
-Is extremely keen on worming their way into every aspect of one’s life… ie “a SWF”
Definition made popular by Marvel Comics Plastic Toy “hands” of the same name. Circa 2002.
Beth and Dawn were LITERALLY dying when they saw that Johnny’s gift was a pair of HULK-HANDS!!! This was hysterical because of Erin’s Hulk-Hands!!!
by HypodermicDawny June 7, 2022