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A polar bear like mammal who bears a strong resemebelance to santa claus. This animal is rarely seen in the wild because they live alone in a freezing arctic caves. These caves are away from all civilization, and are extremely dark. Although it lives in freezing climates it is known to persire heavily.
Eating habits unknown, but suspected of eating small children who fail school. Is known to save humans from drowning, but can't swim itself. truly a mystery. But beware of this seemingly docile animal because human skeletons have been found in their caves.

WARNING: If you see a houston in it's natural state (without clothes) run away and close your eyes, or else you could go blind, vomiting may occur.
person 1: Hey look! It's a whale!

person 2:it's an elephant!

child: it's santa

Person 3: No, it's a HOUSTON!
by avmsinator January 01, 2007
A big fat ugly obese woman with a penchant for eating large amounts of junk food and torturing her sons who lives with her at age 35.
If you want to come to Houston you can see the whale, Myself for one. I was voted fattest woman in Texas and damn Proud.
by REBECCA REHMEYER_ September 16, 2008
America's most rundown city. Just driving from either Bush International or Houston Hobby airports reveals the truth that while this a business town, she is one ugly skank. Residents are uneducated and thuggish, for the most part. Even the most upscale mall, the Galleria, is geared towards people who can't afford to shop there. Nightlife? What nightlife? Just because you slap a sign on a tired-looking building doesn't make it upscale. Washington Ave? Ghetto fabulous. Rice Village? Ugly strip malls backed up to each other. Montrose? This is an embarrassment for anyone who identifies as gay. What a complete mess and dump.

Poor Houstonians try so hard to lumped together with NYC, Chicago and LA, but fail miserably. Houston is the forgotten red-headed step child who is ignored and ridiculed behind her back. She's fat (fattest city in US), she's uneducated (low number of residents with college degrees), she's ugly (just drive around and you'll agree), she's flat (not a hill in sight). Did I mention she's violent, too? Look at the crime stats.

The only reason to visit this place is to see your aging Grandma Maria or just to change planes onto a much better destination. Nothing comes out of Houston except a bunch of hot air. Please stop telling me that you can get cuisine from any country. The same can be said about any city in America.

Official motto of city? Houston - It's embarrassingly cheap for a reason...come see why
Houstonian: Hi, I'm Juan and I'm from Houston.

Person 2: Really? That place is boring dump of a city.

Houstonian: We have the second most Fortune 500 companies in the country.

Person 2: Gee, where do I sign up?
by Houstonator January 16, 2012
A bigger version of Dallas. The 4th largest single city in the United States and largest city in Texas. America’s 7th largest metro area. As big as the Houston area is, it isn't even the largest in Texas. Dallas-Ft. Worth is the largest. It’s economy has a broad industrial base in energy, manufacturing of chemicals and petrochemicals, aeronautics (NASA is headquartered in the city), technology, biotechnology and healthcare and research institutions. It is home to the most Fortune 500 companies outside New York City. It’s numerous high-paying jobs followed by a low cost of liviing makes Houston a very easy city to live in. It is one of the fastest-growing metro areas in the country and is a classic example of urban sprawl gone ammock, like many Sun Belt cities including its rival, Dallas. Houston saw a surge of New Orleans refugees in September of 2005, after Hurricane Katrina. It is believed that its crime rate (already among the highest in the country) escalated rapidly after receiving the evacuees. Houston is almost an urban hell to live in because it has no zoning regulations whatsoever, thanks to its voters. Not suprisingly, it has the second-worst air pollution in the country after Los Angeles. For a city of such large size, Houston has very abysmal public transportation and just about everybody drives everywhere. The roads are overused, overcrowded, underfunded and in need of repair. Houston has among the youngest populations in the nation,partly due to an influx of immigrants (both legal and illegal) into Texas. It has the third-largest Hispanic and third-largest Mexican population in the United States. An estimated 400,000 illegal immigrants reside in Houston if you can believe it or not. That’s perhaps why the city has such a high crime rate. Houston, although not with a profile like the crowded East Coast cities, has just about everything: professional sports teams from every sport except hockey, museums, a theme park, tons of bars and nightclubs, an active nightlife, and ranks high in the arts. Houston is just damb big all over the place and an urban nightmare if you want to live there. It’s a nice place to visit or conduct business, but you don’t want to live there. Houston, we have a problem.
Houston is just too dam big and crime-ridden to be good for anything.
by krock1dk November 29, 2007
Spread-out city that is sweaty and stinks, (so I don't know how anyone can say it's the best place to work out), near a place they call a beach that really looks like a 3-yr-old's sandbox where they puked up their lunch, where every hick-ass drives his big-ass "texas-sized" pickup truck, and therefore thinks he owns the road, and where everyone has to have a hurricane escape route so they can avoid spending 24 hours on the interstate to drive to Dallas, where living really isn't as cheap as people would like to think it is (unless you're okay living in a crack-house apartment complex, or a really nice, cheap house NEXT to the the crack-house apartment complex due to no zoning laws), where they don't have any concept of what grass REALLY looks like.

So you got the nation's biggest med center...big fucking deal. Try finding something better to brag about...George Bush and Ken Lay are from Houston...oh wait...they're both idiots!
I's from Houston, but I don pronounce it like a normal American...here we says Yew-ston, y'all.
A person who looks like McLovin fron SuperBad. McLovin is a 25year old Hawaiian organ donor whos unknown twin is named Matt
Houston is McLovins twin for sure
by Christopher Farley February 02, 2008
A boring city in eastern Texas with no sidewalks and the fattest people in the US. It does have some ghetto places though and a lot of hispanics especially Salvadorians and Mexicans
Houston is the 4th largest city in the US
by Texan chick June 13, 2005