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1.
1. n. a moustache so large and grotesque that one has to wonder why the owner ever bothered to grow it.

2. n. a moustache that creates the uncontrolable desire in onlookers to shave it off by whatever means necessary.
"Did you see that guy's Geraldon't? I had to run my children to shelter for fear that it might eat them."
by John Cason July 18, 2005