Gajewbism 

A loose knit spiritual organization formed in the late 1980’s in Northfield Vermont. Gajewbism’s symbol consisted of the letters ‘GJ’ coat of arms on the side of an early 1900’s style tea kettle. It is said that the high officers of the organization were referred to as Pope and as Cardinals. It has been told over the years that the members of Gajewbism were masters with their chosen weapons, Salad tongs. It is also said that their “chapel” was a broken down Saab 900 in the back of a restaurant in a dirt parking lot. Their chosen drink was Brimes and Jewbs juice to be consumed out of tea kettle. What this juice was made of will probably never be known but rumors are it was a deadly concoction of fruit juice and Voodoo! Stories passed down are vague and sometimes disturbing, we hear of heavy majauana and hashish smoking “Hash under glass” and pumpkin smashing by the hundreds. It could never be confirmed but some say Gajewbism is a sleeper cell and someday my spring up in a small town near you… so watch out for the kettle and the tongs.

It was said that Gajewbism put an end to the innocent thoughts of a whole generation of salad eaters. Tongs will never be used the same way again.

Gajewbism by The Dude abides NV October 31, 2009