A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories.


It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses.
Crimean war: France were the first into sevastopol, and Russia surrendered to Paris.

American war of Independance: Cornwallis surrendered his sword to Rochambeau, who politely declined.


Hundred years war: England's early gained ground was taken back in an equal amount of time for it to be taken, and the land that England rightly owned was also taken by 1556.


1066: Superior tactics see France conquer England, and later wales under the Normans and Plantagenets.


Napoleon: Napoleon was indeed French born (not on the mainland though) and domiciled, although his parents were Italian. Accomplished more than Hitler in terms of European domination.

Indo-China: France re-establishes control in a few months, although kills millions of rebels. the United States tres the same and ends up hitting jack shit for fourteen years while seeing 50,000 soldiers die fromt he united states alone (ignoring other countries0. France's army, which was actually a coalition of other nations led by france loses 90,000.
by Kung-fu Jesus July 17, 2004
a prime example of Napoleonic syndrome, as France has won as many battles as they claim to have won. In actuallity, every victory they have has either proved irrelivent due to loss of the over all war, irrelivent due to fighting themselves, or irrelevent due to fighting alongside someone else or haveing someone else (read as Britain, America, Russia, Normandy, Algeria, Italy, India, Mexico, Indians, Prussians, Irish, Scotts, Australians, and the Dutch) fight for them.
Did you know there are more French Military Victories than any other country?

Yes, and did you know that if you win every game but lose the championship you still lost?
by french canadian descendant May 04, 2010
*Notable* French-only military victories include:

1) The 100 Years War
2) That's it.

The Crimean War doesn't count. Although the French played an important war, the primary players were the British and the Russians.

William the Conqueror of Normandy (William the Bastard as he was then known) was most likely of Celtic or Viking descent, not actually a Frenchman.

Napoleon was actually bad for France, it was worse off after he was finished with it than it had been. At least it was somewhat respectable before. (Although the French people were better off under the psychopath Napoleon than under the incompetent French royalty)

Indo-china...That was as pointless as the American attempt later on.

And Kung-fu Jesus, losing 50,000 troops over fourteen years is better, not worse, than losing 90,000 in less time.
France sucks. Get over it, France.
by Rado December 19, 2004
oxymoron
The french won military victories? No they didn't you dumbass.
by Assholes Inc. September 03, 2003
HAHA are we serious? French military victory is just a slang phrase for " retreat!!!!!"
A french soldier says, " god damnit, well never be able to fight the Germans now, all of our tanks treads are all burnt out becuase of going into reverse to much, fuck."
French Tank Commander, "Hey what did u expect, did u see those guys?? they were pointing guns at us!"
by Chris Johnson May 27, 2004
Such a thing has never happens, and never will. France may be beutifull but the french people are a bunch of pussies.
The french planted treats on the great avenues of the city of paris so the invading armies marched in the shade
by melanthex March 31, 2005
Mere fairytales told by the french to create the illusion that their people are capable of defending themselves. The term "fairy" is not used lightly seing as France is the topic of this posting, and it seems rather appropriate when describing them.
The french told their children of the "french military victories" to keep them from following the usual plan of action (sob, hide, run, cry to the US).
by Super Jesus December 04, 2005
1. Mythological event who's existance in modern thinking is correctly ridiculed by those that maintain a belief in the existance of same.

2. Send in the Americans

3. The French Foreign Legion is only as good as it's worst German trooper.
In order to insure a French Military Victory, send in the Americans.
by Marquis de Lafayette July 04, 2004

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×