Free Candy

Back the fuck away from the van.

Mysterious man in the van: " Hey kid, want some free candy?"
Kid: *Backs the fuck away from the van*

by Adios Bitchachos May 31, 2015

Free Candy

A hard hit in hockey by Pittsburgh Penguins defenseman Brooks Orpik.

Brooks Orpik was giving out some free candy left and right.

by Roy Brown July 3, 2008

Free Candy

(n.) The most likly bait a pedo will use. Most likely obtained from the end of a white van with no windows, white, and has "Free Candy, Totally Legit" written in brown, red or black paint. Found in parks, playgrounds, schools, and sometimes disguised as a Ice Cream Truck, but instead serves free candy and molestation.

Mom: "what did you do in School today son?"
Billy: " i got Free Candy!"
Mom: "WHAT!?"
Billy: "yea it came with the tight pants and shirt. He took a picture of me as well!"

by BillyMacDiddy January 22, 2011

Free Candy

Candy given away, often by really nice people in beat-up vans.

Occasionally refers to candy found in dumpsters, toilets, yards, or other sanitary sources.

On my 54th birthday, a man driving a Rainbow 1978 Ford Pinto with the words "free candy" scratched in the side invited me in for some free candy. I jumped up and down giddily and accepted the offer.

by [e-mail] December 13, 2010

Free Candy

It's a reference to "a running joke at The Pensblog is that they think that Brooks Orpik looks like a child molester and they call him the candy man and throw his picture up inside of a van with 'free candy' on the side. Don't get it twisted.

That Brooks Orpik looks like a pedophile. He likes little kids units and hands out free candy as he asks them to come into his basement. He's also slow as a snail.

by RogueStatus79 June 16, 2009

free candy van

A run-down shady looking vehicle that looks like something a rapist or child molester would drive.

Joe should get the blood stains washed out of his car, right now it looks like a free candy van.

by grundle debris November 9, 2007

Free candy van

A free candy van most of the times has bad stuff in it and is 10x bad for you can might kidnap children.

Timmy: Look dad, free candy!
Dad: Timmy that’s bad for you!
Timmy: So?
Dad: They might get you!
Timmy: NOO!

Free candy van

FRE-CANN-DY-VANN

by MR.IHAVESOMETHINGTOSHOW August 12, 2019