Top Definition
Five Minutes Uglier than a ten-to-twoer. something with a fanny like a badly packed kebab, and would only be shagged by a man after several pints of dizzyade.
howay lass, fancy a shag, cos im pissed and youre a five-to-twoer.
by Schmee June 25, 2004
1 more definition
A woman so utterly repulsive that five minutes to closing time, wearing your strongest beer-goggles, is the only time you would be forced to approach her.
Mate, getting on for closing time.
Yeah. Just gonna look round for a five-to-two-er, just in case.
by Ben December 07, 2003

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