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1.
This hot and sexy kid who dressed up like a pirate on halloween. He also has a slut Ex girlfriend named Amanda who nobody likes. First Mate Rob also has a heterolife mate named J Wood. First Mate Rob and J Wood go to Vo-Tech together, where they slack off and make fun of Miss Piggy and Hotdog Boy. One day Rob and J wood got bored and they decided to tell Hotdog boy that Neo called and he wanted his Trenchcoat back. Oh man good times has by all. Theres also this kid named Deep Fried Dan, hes a crazy kid who asks people if they're afraid of cell phones. Also if you have sex with Rob, you always come back for more.
J Wood:Oh man Robs wearing a patch!
First Mate Rob:Its first mate Rob you scum.
J Wood:Sorry Suge, please don't kill me Suge.
Rob:What we doing today J Wood?
J Wood:The same shit we did yesterday...
Rob:Megaman bitches! But before we do, i got to watch Shaun of the Dead again!
J Wood:Go kill yourself Rob....OH GOD LOOK OUT DANS TRYING TO BITE YOU!
Rob:AHHHHHH
*J Wood and Rob run to the other side of the room*
J Wood:What are we gonna do?
Rob:Hit it in the head!
J Wood:What are we gonna throw?
Rob:I don't know, throw a god damn computer...
J Wood:But these computers belong to liz!
Rob:WHAT?!?!?!That makes NO FUCKING SENSE!
J Wood:Whoops, i'll take this one.
*J Wood throws a monitor at Dan, killing him*
Rob:Wow, that was weird....
J Wood:Yeah boyeee, find something to clank.
*J Wood and Rob clank binders*

COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU!
by J Wood and First Mate Rob January 10, 2005