When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.
(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
by gingyman January 10, 2010
by ealanm October 12, 2007
Pretending one is offended, insulted or generally affronted by something which they really are not. The faux outrage is usually expressed publicly because it is done in the service of an agenda. Those expressing faux outrage usually labor under the delusion that no one can see through them, but most can.
The professional protesters went down to City Hall today to express their opposition to bill 1234. They were drinking coffee and playing marbles until the tv station got there, then all three of them sprung into action and began waving signs and displaying faux outrage after the camera was turned on.
by arktos March 6, 2012
Water from drinking fountain or tap poured into the empty plastic bottle of brand name water. A good way save money and still look sophisticated.
Everybody thinks I drink expensive water all the time. My secret is faux H2O. Helps the environment too.
by yes juanito yes May 1, 2015
A person who wants to be a vegan and wants to be known as a vegan, yet is okay with eating muffins that contain eggs and dairy. A faux vegan does not always read food labels. Also, a man who is probably an omnivore or a vegetarian, but says he is vegan to date a vegan woman who will not date a vegan man. This man thinks so highly of himself that he thinks the vegan woman will be so blown away by his charm that she will throw her convictions to the wind and date him even if he eats a steak in front of her.
Dax: Belle is hot. I am going to ask her out.
Avery: Belle will only date vegan men.
Dax: Oh, well I like vegetables and I don't eat that much meat.
Avery: A true vegan eats no animal products at all, including dairy, honey, and eggs. They also do not wear any animal products or use anything containing animal products or tested on animals. She does not want to date a faux vegan. I. on the other hand, am a true vegan as I refuse to contribute to animal suffering in any way. I will ask her out.
Avery: Belle will only date vegan men.
Dax: Oh, well I like vegetables and I don't eat that much meat.
Avery: A true vegan eats no animal products at all, including dairy, honey, and eggs. They also do not wear any animal products or use anything containing animal products or tested on animals. She does not want to date a faux vegan. I. on the other hand, am a true vegan as I refuse to contribute to animal suffering in any way. I will ask her out.
by Jane Doeski October 28, 2012
by henro50 February 17, 2014
noun phrase: A slow line at a store checkout, the cause of one's being faux queued.
verb: to cause one to be faux queued by inordinately slowing down the progress of the checkout line.
expletive: see example
verb: to cause one to be faux queued by inordinately slowing down the progress of the checkout line.
expletive: see example
noun phrase: I was caught in a faux queue caused by a little old lady who insisted on paying with exact change, which she knew she had somewhere in her purse....
verb: Why did that little old lady have to faux queue me when I was already so late for my appointment?
expletive: ME TO LITTLE OLD LADY: Faux queue, old lady! LITTLE OLD LADY TO ME: Faux queue too, young man!
verb: Why did that little old lady have to faux queue me when I was already so late for my appointment?
expletive: ME TO LITTLE OLD LADY: Faux queue, old lady! LITTLE OLD LADY TO ME: Faux queue too, young man!
by Karl Pfeifer August 17, 2006