Offender: Just poppin' into the loo to squeeze out a fat rat.
*speaking through the door, the conversation continues*
Accomplice: Have you prepared you're letter of apology?
Offender: Aye, writing it on the walls as we speak.
"The fuck?! Who broke my toilet? Whoever just laid this brick, fess up now, or when I find out, I swear I'll shove this fat rat back up your cursed cornhole so far, you'll be belching farts for the next week and a half!"
Kid: Sure. Anything but a fat rat.
A: What -is- that smell?
B: Oh, that's my brother's fat-rats. He changes their litter about as often as he showers.