A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, the False Celery is when a man digs a hole in the ground, covers himself with dirt and paints his column green during the harvest time.
As it is written by the ancients, "the False Celery shall align with a chill wind as surely as Polaris guides the wayward traveller north."
by boatbutter August 22, 2006