Eric Cartmen is a character in South Park. In most episodes he is the focus of the show. He is extremely negative and destructive in his thoughts and actions. That might have something to do with the fact that his mother is a hermaphrodite town slut and he is big boned(not fat).
1. Eric Cartmen : Now I am done measuring everyone's penis size.
Stan : Dude, your penis size is yet to measured.
Eric : I measured mine this morning. It is 13.7" long.
Stan : Your penis is not 13.7". We'll measure your penis in front of witnesses.
Eric : Now you want to measure guys' penises? What are you, a HOMO?
Stan : You just measured everyone's penis.
Eric : OK FINE.
Stan : (Measures Eric's penis size) It is 1.2".
2.
Eric : Mom! I want iPad2 with 64gb and 3g.
Eric's Mom : Eric, that is too expensive. We can't afford that. Look here, you can get Toshiba's tablet instead. It has all the features of iPad and is much cheaper.
Eric : BUT IT IS NOT IPAD. KYLE HAS AN IPAD.
Eric' Mom : I am not buying that.
Eric : (Turns his back towards his mom, squats and gets down his pant) Mom why don't you take me to the Greasemonkey. I liked to be lubed before I get FUCKED.
Stan : Dude, your penis size is yet to measured.
Eric : I measured mine this morning. It is 13.7" long.
Stan : Your penis is not 13.7". We'll measure your penis in front of witnesses.
Eric : Now you want to measure guys' penises? What are you, a HOMO?
Stan : You just measured everyone's penis.
Eric : OK FINE.
Stan : (Measures Eric's penis size) It is 1.2".
2.
Eric : Mom! I want iPad2 with 64gb and 3g.
Eric's Mom : Eric, that is too expensive. We can't afford that. Look here, you can get Toshiba's tablet instead. It has all the features of iPad and is much cheaper.
Eric : BUT IT IS NOT IPAD. KYLE HAS AN IPAD.
Eric' Mom : I am not buying that.
Eric : (Turns his back towards his mom, squats and gets down his pant) Mom why don't you take me to the Greasemonkey. I liked to be lubed before I get FUCKED.
by sooommmeeoonnneeeee July 10, 2011
1.) Plural of Eric Cartman
by jffsiuo January 28, 2008
The Fat Ass Of South Park. He is Funny and the best person on the show. Cartmen is extremly offensive to jews and black people. Cartmens Mom is also a hoe.
Kyle: Hey Cartmen Can I Have Some Candy?
Cartmen: Lets See hmm Nope Im Sorry Kyle I don't Have Any Jew Candy
Kyle: Fuck You Fat Ass
Or
Cat: meeeooow
Cartmen: no kitty this is my pot pie
Cat: meooooowww
Cartmen: NO KITTY THIS IS MY POT PIE!!
Cartmen: Mooommm Kitty's bein a dildo.
Cartmen's Mom : well then i know a certain kitty-kitty thats sleeping with mommy tonight.
Cat: Meeooooooow?
Cartmen: Lets See hmm Nope Im Sorry Kyle I don't Have Any Jew Candy
Kyle: Fuck You Fat Ass
Or
Cat: meeeooow
Cartmen: no kitty this is my pot pie
Cat: meooooowww
Cartmen: NO KITTY THIS IS MY POT PIE!!
Cartmen: Mooommm Kitty's bein a dildo.
Cartmen's Mom : well then i know a certain kitty-kitty thats sleeping with mommy tonight.
Cat: Meeooooooow?
by J- Fizzle June 11, 2005