An Epic Battle is when you do a girl doggy style, and then do a Donkey Punch. After that, you do a Houdini. When she turns around, you nut on her face and in her eye. You then proceed to do a Strawberry Shortcake. Once that is complete, you kick her in the shin, and that completes the Angry Pirate. Combining those 4 sexual acts creates the Epic Battle.
Oh my god. Last night, when I was fucking your mom, I did an Epic Battle, and lights came down from the heavens and angels started singing.
by Woodcock Johnson December 28, 2009
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