An exercise program invented by Ed Crankshaft, done by him when played for the Toledo Mudhens. Of course it includes the Mudhen Bend, but it also includes other things. It is performed on a therapy ball and can be done anywhere.
Lena: Ed, I'm all worked up. I''m stiff. This bowling ball feels like lead.

Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.

Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?

Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.

Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.

(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)

Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.

Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 23, 2011
Get the Ed Stretches mug.