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1.
The most common reason for calling out of work.

Occurs when one partied too hard and perhaps too late and/or before realizing that the work day starts bright and early the next morning.

Often a side effect of having a really awesome time.

Symptoms include upset stomach, vomiting, regret, diarrhea, heartburn, irritability, and bad memories.

Chronic Drunkitis can lead to car accidents, STDs and in rare cases, pregnancy.
Drunkitis sufferer: "Sorry, I won't be able to make it into work today. I'm just not feeling good."
Co-worker of sufferer who made it into work: "That motherfucker..."

Concerned worker: "Tom is a good worker, if he would just stop calling out so much with Drunkitis he'd look much more favorable for the promotion."
by eceedubs December 23, 2010