1)Crustmugeons are old people that can be found driving their Lincoln Town Cars or Buick LaSabres while blindly merging into traffic at a snales pace.

2)Crustmugeons are often on the way for the early bird special to utilize their senior citizen discount.

3)At dinner, one can witness a Crustmugeon slurping the softest food through a creepy dentured smile.

4)Once said meal has been consumed, the tip left by a Crustmugeon is generally in the .5 - 2% range.