B) An episode title of C.S.I. Miami.
C) Deploying flares, ECM Hammer, or a smoke screen on Battlefield 3
D) The act of measuring ones penile length upon a countertop or table.
E) A 1998 film starring Michael Dudikoff
B) Herp: "Hey Derpina did you catch the name of the C.S.I. Miami episode last night?"
Derpina: "Yeah it was titled Countermeasures."
C) Pilot to gunner: " I just deployed my ECM Jammer and they are locking onto us again. Looks like you need to use whatever countermeasures you have."
D) Derp: "I found that the easiest way to find my size was to use countermeasures."
E) Movies 1998-
Herp: "Well that has to be the worst fucking depiction of a war movie I have ever laid my eyes on."
Helping: "Seriously what a waste of money."