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When a bunch of questionable dudes each take a paper plate, go upstairs, cut a hole in said plate, work one up, put their respective cocks in said holes, go back downstairs, and present before an appropriate panel of judges (panel is made up of fellow dudes, not gals).

Cockoffs can also take place in a dudes backyard....perhaps at some sort of celebratory cook-out.
Weasel: Blake......I guarantee I have a larger COCK than you.

Blake: With utmost heartfelt respect, I disagree.

Weasel: Why don't we cockoff then?

Blake: I'll go get the brand new ream of plates I just bought.
by Wease and Linda July 07, 2009
16 3
Coigned by Bubba the Love Sponge: When two males that cannot settle an argument or dispute in any other civilized fashion resort to measuring their genitals to determine a winner. The standard form is to lay your junk on a table about yea high while your opponent does the same from the opposite side. The match is immediately forfeit if you attempt to touch your opponent while he is in this position.
Bubba and Ronny had an dispute that they couldn't settle. Bubba challenged Ronny to a cock off. When they measured their cocks, it was determined tht Bubba's cock was longer....He was then named the winner of the cock off and the argument. ...and there was much rejoicing
by lumberjim December 04, 2007
48 18
Functions in the same way as 'fuck off' or some other expletive which expresses disdain at another or a desire for them to leave/stop talking/stop messing around.
Colin: "You know, Nadine, some people think that buildings like my garden shed are actually rather attractive."

Nadine : "Cock off, Colin."
by tempster May 11, 2007
29 18
An event much like a duel, where two men unable to come to terms by conventional methods such as talking or fighting, stand back to back, walk 10 paces, turn and drop their pants. The man with the largest cock wins, and the loser must hang his head in shame and leave.
Obviously talking or even fighting wouldn't have settled the argument so I challenged him to a cock-off. I won.
by Slaney October 03, 2006
17 6
Two men use the barometer of manhood to win a duel relating to who has the strongest masculinity.
A win can be attained without the need for a showdown (similar to poker)
Two geezers in a pub toilet. A clubber and a long haired Iron Maiden Man. A cock-off ensues.

Clubber: "Feeling insecure there m8?"
Mr. Iron Maiden Man(slightly confused look): "a-NOPE"
Small pause.
Clubber: "you should be"
Mr. Iron Maiden Man(slightly annoyed & definitely agitated): "Yeh - any time you want mate - bring it on"
Clubber finishes and leaves, Iron Maiden Man wins.
by Grovesy the first October 19, 2009
5 0
The act of berating, swearing at, and/or accusing of lower deeds, or otherwise offending a person of higher political standing without cause.
"Don't Cock-Off to me!"

"If you cock-off to me again, I'll mess you up!"

"Cocking-off to a cop will only land you in jail."
by K'Dub (w/ assistant Tommy G) November 28, 2007
1 1
An alternative to the ubiquitously fuck off to imply unwanted company.
"Cock the cock off you ass raping donkey shit eater" - JP Williams 2005
by RickyP June 10, 2005
28 28