Olivia: What is Garrett's deal? he seems really weird around you...
Kristina: Yea, I know... He wants to Christopher Columbus my Vagina.
Olivia: HOLY SH*T, I will not let him be your first!... I'll knock him out for you.
Reality: A greedy piece of genocidal shit who wasn't the first person to find America, the Native Americans discovered America before anyone else and after the Native Americans found America, vikings discovered America, and a several explorers found it too. But for some reason, Columbus ends up taking all the credit for something the Native Americans discovered.To add insult to injury, he ends up enslaving a bunch of Native Americans to take to Spain as slaves (this is 100% true) and his Spanish sailors and him killed approximately 8 million Native Americans (also true) Talk about some major bullshit.
4th grader: *raises his hand*
Teacher: Yes, Timmy?
4th grader: Didn't the Native Americans discover America first?
Teacher: Nope, it was Columbus!
4th grader: I'm pretty sure it was the Native Americans.
Teacher: I SAID IT WAS COLUMBUS!!!
4th grader: But-
Teacher: THAT IS IT! YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE "Columbus discovered America, not the Native Americans." 50 TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christopher Columbus stole all he could see.
Definition 1: To Christopher Columbus is to hostilely or non-hostilely acquire something by force or without permission, very much like a dictator.
Definition 2: To be a stinky, smelly bastard
Juan comes over, picks up the English Muffin and eats it while staring Carlos in the face
"Yo homie, you totally just Christopher Columbused my muffin!"-Carlos
"Yeah, well maybe you should have thought of that before you Christopher Columbused my girlfriend!"-Juan
Example 2: The New World was Christopher Columbused, hostilely, by Christopher Columbus