by big papa pump July 27, 2004
The thing that all real men want.
The "Are you a real man?" test:
Question 1)
Do you want a cement mixer?
Answer:
YES!
Bonus Question for those who got full marks, to seperate the men from the boys: Why do you want a cement mixer?
Most manly answer: Don't know... I just do (or words to that effect)
Acceptable answers: Anything that doesn't involve mixing of cement
Least manly answer: Mixing cement
Every now & again you meet an uber-man who has a cement mixer...
Girls, always take this test into account when picking a boyfriend.
The "Are you a real man?" test:
Question 1)
Do you want a cement mixer?
Answer:
YES!
Bonus Question for those who got full marks, to seperate the men from the boys: Why do you want a cement mixer?
Most manly answer: Don't know... I just do (or words to that effect)
Acceptable answers: Anything that doesn't involve mixing of cement
Least manly answer: Mixing cement
Every now & again you meet an uber-man who has a cement mixer...
Girls, always take this test into account when picking a boyfriend.
Uber-man:
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No...
Girl: *starting to realise she's made a mistake*
Guy: I ALREADY GOT ONE!!!
Real man:
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Yeah!
Girl: Why?
Guy: Don't know... would be cool!
Failed man:
Girl: So, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No... wtf...
(DUMPED)
Sorry excuse for a man:
Female dragon: So, Kwisli, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Noo!!! I don't need a cement mixer, I can mix cement by hand!!
(DUMPED AND CHAR-GRILLED)
(For some reason I have to include the word CEMENT MIXERS in my example)
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No...
Girl: *starting to realise she's made a mistake*
Guy: I ALREADY GOT ONE!!!
Real man:
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Yeah!
Girl: Why?
Guy: Don't know... would be cool!
Failed man:
Girl: So, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No... wtf...
(DUMPED)
Sorry excuse for a man:
Female dragon: So, Kwisli, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Noo!!! I don't need a cement mixer, I can mix cement by hand!!
(DUMPED AND CHAR-GRILLED)
(For some reason I have to include the word CEMENT MIXERS in my example)
by Jai NobeZ September 17, 2008
by jonny cash 420 September 3, 2015
The act of peeing inside an anus and then proceeding to fornicate it, creating a wet cement like mixture.
by Jblanco October 11, 2019
The act of spreading a person's ass cheeks, and further, deficating into previously stated open anus. Epoxy is then applied to the cheeks and held closed until dry.
by Ross224 January 21, 2009
The Scandinavian Cement Mixer is a very specialized form of gay sex, similar to docking. It involves two men, normally one significantly older with a large foreskin, and a sheet of poly film.
The two men stand facing each other naked on the sheet of poly, looking into each others eyes, but never smiling. It is important not to smile as per the third rule of sex, "its not gay if you don't smile". The older man then pulls his foreskin over the tip of the other man penis to achieve the dock. Each man then firmly grips the others penis and in a rhythmic stroking fashion they masturbate each other.
After each man ejaculates into the pocket created by the older mans foreskin they continue the stroking motion, thus simulating mixing the "cement" ejaculate. It is important to maintain synchronized hand motion to prevent breaking the seal of the foreskin and getting "cement" in your eye.
Once both men are content with their experience the older man must carefully remove his foreskin from the other mans penis, and releasing the "cement" ejaculate on the poly sheet.
Folding the poly up and disposing of it makes for easy clean up.
The two men stand facing each other naked on the sheet of poly, looking into each others eyes, but never smiling. It is important not to smile as per the third rule of sex, "its not gay if you don't smile". The older man then pulls his foreskin over the tip of the other man penis to achieve the dock. Each man then firmly grips the others penis and in a rhythmic stroking fashion they masturbate each other.
After each man ejaculates into the pocket created by the older mans foreskin they continue the stroking motion, thus simulating mixing the "cement" ejaculate. It is important to maintain synchronized hand motion to prevent breaking the seal of the foreskin and getting "cement" in your eye.
Once both men are content with their experience the older man must carefully remove his foreskin from the other mans penis, and releasing the "cement" ejaculate on the poly sheet.
Folding the poly up and disposing of it makes for easy clean up.
Down in Mexico a old man showed me how to preform a Scandinavian Cement Mixer, and I have been dying to try it again.
by RioW August 15, 2014
Excrement shot out with such force and precision that it splatters and chunks become stuck to the sides of the bowl.
Her: Honey, why is the powerwasher in the bathroom?
Him: Sorry love, I had a cement mixer poop and those chunks wouldn't budge a bit!
Him: Sorry love, I had a cement mixer poop and those chunks wouldn't budge a bit!
by Keet Squeet May 10, 2020