Carlinized is quite similar to bastardized, except with more arrogance and randomness. To carlinize is to fictitiously create the optimization of numbers or metrics without any basis in reality or factual events.
An example of a Carlinized request: "Likely abnormal uniques volatility outside the range of historical divisions for that market?"
How in the world did you come up with those numbers? You must have Carlinized them!