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Mike Carden

A founding member and guitarist of the greatest band on Earth, The Academy Is....

He currently provides the rhythm guitar to Michael Guy Chislett's lead guitar. He also sings backup vocals on two of TAI's songs: he sings "intoxicated circulation" on "Neighbors" and miscellaneous backups on "Slow Down."

He and William Beckett had once been cross-town rivals in the Chicago underground scene, but they eventually befriended each other at local concerts and started up TAI in 2002. This is also known as a fairytale come true.

Mike is known for his classic, half-smiling/open-mouthed shredding faces onstage, where he always stands on the far right side (on William's left).

The one word that can most accurately describe Mike is cute, because that's what he is.

However, Mike was not cute in the evil clown costume that he sported on Halloween, in 2007. He was terrifying then.

Pretty much everyone loves Mike. He's just a likeable guy, who for some reason seems to never know precisely what's going on.

For more information, check out Jack the Camera Guy's episode(s) of TAI TV "The Chronicles of Mike Carden." Jack made a pie chart.
Jack: So, you're saying you're kinda like the fluff on top of, uh, yams on Thanksgiving dinner?

Mike Carden: Yeah, when you eat it with all your friends.... It's tasty.
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Garcia Lopez de Cardenas 

Boy, do I wish that I could see the Grand Canyon like Garcia Lopez de Cardenas did.
Super awesome. Skilled in all things they put their mind to. They're also very attractive. They can love a lot but also hate a lot.
Cardona by Acausha March 12, 2015

Cardonaville 

Last stop on the trainwreck express line for teams who are soooooo overrrated, they lose to football teams that are lucky to have enough in their budgets to afford uniforms. Town was named for one Edwin Cardona, the father of all bandwagon jumpers. Legend has it that after losing to the New York Jets in Super Bowl III, coach Don Shula proclaimed "What can I say, we were "Cardona'd". Mike Tyson himself, on losing to Buster Douglas, exclaimed "I don't think I was over confident or took Buster lightly, I just woke up this mornning and had the mark of the "Cardona"; I lost that fight before I even left my house."
Keith Jackson: "Whoa Nelly... I do believe that after losing to Div. II Appalachian State, Michigan has caught the last train to Cardonaville."
Cardonaville by robaphonic September 14, 2007

cardenas 

Old Mexican president name. A person with this name comes from a large family. Determined, smart, a damn chingon in life. An overall eccentric person, but with a passionate, loving, loyal soul.
Damn, that guy is cardenas. Good for him!
cardenas by dankRidaa October 12, 2017
The Australian spelling and pronunciation of "Cartoons"
Sitting down watching cardoons with the kids

dirty cardenas 

when a female surprisingly starts manually stimulating(handjob) a male partner in conjunction with dancing.
I got a dirty cardenas at the club last night
dirty cardenas by chriscbc05 December 1, 2009