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Well fuck me in the ass and call me daddy

Used when someone is shocked because something they didn't expect happened.

Can also be used when someone thinks they screwed up.
Yeah, we've got a test tomorrow. Didn't you know?
Well fuck me in the ass and call me daddy. I'm so screwed.

fuck me sideways and call me daddy 

When someone is having a really shitty day, they use this expression.
Person 1: Fuck me sideways and call me daddy!

Person 2: Excuse me. Say that again, this time, imma grab my nutsack so hard that my eyes pop out of my head.

Person 1: Fuck me sideways and call me daddy!

Smack My taint, n call me daddy 

something you say when you are surprised/ happy about something.
"How much is this car?" -me
"$500"- man
"seriously?" "Smack my taint, n call me daddy!"-me

fuck me up and call me daddy 

Its when a vagina is having a lickwith a sausage and the sausage says ohhh lick me bitch oooh fuck me honeyyyyyyy i am your daddy now
Ohh he is such a daddy ohhh ohhh yeahh. Fuck me up and call me daddy