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1.
When you are a server or a barista, a sure sign that you are not going to get tipped.
Server: That will be five complicated lattes, a bagel toasted at exactly 185 degrees, and 8 ounces of cold soy milk over chocolate ice cubes. That'll be 15.50.

Customers: Here's exact change. We pay enough for you kids. Now, give us 3 tables we can move together and horde for the next three hours.

Server: Oh, you guys must be having a business breakfast.
by ServingLouie April 17, 2011