B N W N - This lolord means simply Bad News / Worse News. Usually it is a very direct prologue to sharing two pieces of information - the former bad, the latter worse. Each are actually informative, shedding new light on some matter. Sometimes, in a philosophical or poetic sense, B N W N indicates an double irony, an unavoidable truth about life that is not news at all, and neither good nor bad, but just fate. In either case, B N W N is best received while ellipsicated, to take a little bit of edge off the circle of life.
First use (actually informative) - (You finally take the call from your stockbroker who is managing 99.9% of your life savings in a dodgy fund.) He says, "B N W N." You reply, "Ok, B N first." He says, "That investment is too risky. You could lose 80% of everything, if you leave it in too long." You reply, "Oh, that is not too bad. Just let me know when it will happen. Give me the W N." He says, "Ok, I can tell you when." You say, "How is that B N? Just tell me when". He says, "It has."
Second case (blatantly obvious and unavoidable, so not news and just neutral fate) Ted, "Bud, I have some B N W N for you." Bud, "Well, ok, lemme have it, B N first." Ted, "Bud, I am gonna die." Bud, "Ted, that is horrible, I can't think of anything worse you could tell me, so I'm ready for the W N." Ted, "Bud, are you sure?" Bud, "Ted, yes of course, I am ready." Ted, "Good, then I am glad to tell you.... so are you."
Second case (blatantly obvious and unavoidable, so not news and just neutral fate) Ted, "Bud, I have some B N W N for you." Bud, "Well, ok, lemme have it, B N first." Ted, "Bud, I am gonna die." Bud, "Ted, that is horrible, I can't think of anything worse you could tell me, so I'm ready for the W N." Ted, "Bud, are you sure?" Bud, "Ted, yes of course, I am ready." Ted, "Good, then I am glad to tell you.... so are you."
by nothinc April 17, 2019