Asspert 

A person who is an aficionado on great looking asses. Knows them and greatly appreciates their existence.

My friend Anne can't go to a baseball game without commenting about the player's asses...she thinks she's an Asspert!

Asspert by anniep August 19, 2013

asspert 

The complete opposite of expert. An asspert gets paid to do something he or she is absolutely no good at. An asspert never improves despite years of practice. Assperts are generally located in high school guidance departments but can be found pretty much anywhere in the education field. An asspert will never accept responsibility for bad advice and will inevitably blame the victim.

Joe: Mr. Dunderhead, Instead of adding my journalism class, you scheduled me for FOUR study halls and canceled a full year class.

Dunderhead: Well, I don't want you to slack off just because you're a senior!

Joe: Well, Mr. Dunderhead, you're the asspert.

asspert by kaykaycee February 28, 2010

Disingenuous Assertions 

Disingenuous: lacking in frankness, candor, or sincerity; falsely or hypocritically

Assertion: positive statement or declaration, often without support or reason: a mere assertion; an unwarranted assertion.

put the two together and you have Disingenuous Assertions so I'll dumb it down for you people

Disingenuous Assertions: pretty much lying to make someone look good and something that so infuriating that it makes soldiers want to punch reporters

I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions

Disingenuous Assertions by Bushyfro September 29, 2011

false assvertising 

when the pictures of any person on any social website make that person appear extremely sexy, but they are significantly less attractive in person.

guy:"damn, this girl is sexy! look at that ass! i gotta meet this chick"

two days later...

guy: "damn, that girl was sooooo not as attractive in person. she had like, NO ASS. She was false assvertising with her pics.

false assvertising by mr.benzedrine March 27, 2009

Assvertising 

Words or advertising logos placed on the asses of female clothing.

Check out the ASSVERTISING on that ass! School names, team names, phrases, city names, etc. usually written in large letters. i.e. CHEER, PINK, SWIM, ORLANDO

Assvertising by Page Wagner October 3, 2007

Assertiveness 

To speak clearly your mind

Clare's assertiveness stirred up his deep-seated sence of inadequacy

Assertiveness by McRule June 9, 2004

assport 

The act of transporting an object by the means of your rectum.

The Mexican on my flight tried to assport coke on to the flight, of course he got caught.

assport by VTPinky December 2, 2010