To take someone to an asshole rodeo you first grab the asshole with your hands. Throw him/her to the ground and roll them over onto their front so their ass is up. Then, bite down the asshole's ass hard with your teeth. At this point the asshole will be going wild, screaming, trying to get you off and get up, but you've got to hang on like a real cowboy/cowgirl riding a bronco. (What you want is for the asshole to end up with your set of black and blue teeth marks on their ass for about three or four weeks.) Think about letting go after about 10-15 seconds of biting.
My girlfriend stopped answering my calls, dumped me with a text message, and made a play for my best friend. Three weeks later I saw her on the beach and took her to an asshole rodeo. It settled our affair.