The armpit of America. A town so miserable that staying here for more than a week is bound to significantly change a person's mood, for the worse. Altoids, people who call Altoona home, are usually the epitome of white trash, and the town is more closely related to a West Virginia mountain town than the rest of Pennsylvania. Once a crucial railroad town (Hitler had planned to bomb the famous Horseshoe Curve if Germany ever attacked America), it has since fallen off into oblivion. People who come here from elsewhere are quick to realize the dismal properties of this forsaken town, and usually cannot wait to leave.
"Hey Joe, want to go to Altoona, PA?"
"No, I'd rather sit here and brand myself with a hot iron. Thanks though."
"No, I'd rather sit here and brand myself with a hot iron. Thanks though."
by Farmer Brown 127 March 25, 2010