Top Definition
1. A small town in Northeastern Michigan known for Drinking and tomfoolery

2. A adjective used by Alpena transplants to describe a party scene that has become of ouf control or gong show

1. Make sure you bring the doedoe when we cruise up to Alpena, because god knows we won't be able to score any there.

2. Everyone was so wasted at Jimmy's house they managed to tear off the porch and use it for a bonfire, it was so Alpena

#alpenis #a-town #45th parallel #michigan #sunrise side
by Flish September 04, 2006
A small town in North-Eastern Michigan known for fat ugly women and young attractive men with mullets named Nick Lee.

A place to go if you want to visit the closest place to Hell.
Cop: Now what are we going to do with you?

Arrested Man: Fuck Yo Couch Nigga

Cop: Im taking you where no man has a chance to live or leave.

Arrested Man: Aw Hell Naw Not Alpena.
#mullet #nick #lee #snake #broken nose
by NLHASP March 10, 2011
AKA Alspenis michicunts come here on vacation leave here on probation

Where everything in this town is ass backwards

Where the cops are more dirty then theives stealing from people

Where you go to a party and probably see your friends parents or grand parents partying down

Home of alien wanker, the pink flamingo, few moon crickets, and dirty sluts
#alpena #alspenis #moon crickets #dirty whores #heroin
by team_cat November 30, 2011
A small town in north-eastern Michigan where there is only one style of clothing.
Oh look there is an aeropostale shirt.

-3seconds later- Oh look there is the same shirt but on a different person

#boring #uneventful #depressing #cold #snowy
by WastedSoul April 08, 2011
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