biggest bitch and fat whore you will ever meet.

don't you dare trust a girl named Alden.

Warning: Can also be mistook for a beached whale.
Person A: Oh my God, do you know Alden?
Person B: You mean that fat whore?
Person A: Yeah, didn't we see her at the beach?
Person B: I don't think so...OH WAIT, that was an impregnated beached whale, not Alden.
Person A: Oh yeah, I remember, now. God she's a bitch.
Person B: Ew God, that chick is a bitch! Don't trust her. she might jack off on you, since she obviously has a dick.
---------------------
Entire World: Let's go harpoon her.
by Sweet Backstabbed Angel March 10, 2008

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Top Definition
The greatest girl in the universe. Impossible not to completely fall in love with her, especially because she's perfect in everyway.

see also perfection
Man, I really want to be with Alden, too bad she's already with someone ]:
by PuppylovesCupcake April 07, 2010

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A relatively rare English surname, that is sometimes used as a given name. The given name means "old friend" while the surname means "old-town" or "old-hill." It is of Saxon locality. A well known person who had this surname is John Alden, a pilgrim on the Mayflower. A good surname because it's not too long, isn't ethnic, and isn't too plain/common.
Random person: What's your last name?
Me: Alden.
Random person: Nice surname. Is it pronounced AL-den or ALL-den?
Me: ALL-den.
by Someone with surname Alden March 02, 2009

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is so hot ... i guess it runs in the family ... has the hottest cousin
oo i want that family!!!
by Anonymous May 27, 2003

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a very attractive girl who has a great personality!
by anonamous May 26, 2003

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comes from the old english <i>auld</i> meaning 'wise' and the dutch <i>denusker</i> meaning 'gaurdian.' acutally means: <i>'wise gaurdian'</i>

1) <i>noun</i>: the dnd geek's wet dream. a flirtatious blonde who is not as dumb as her hair colour might suggest. many aldens hate pop music, and enjoy theatre and english class. can be found near shakespeare.

do not freeze aldens.

2) <i>verb</i>: to befriend mortal enemies and then have to deal with the consequences of their hatred for each other. <i>also see star crossed. 'to pull an alden.'</i>

3) <i>verb</i>: to make up words at ranodm and then attempet to pass them off as real.
1) oh man, that alden is so 1337. i just love the way she rolls those twenty-sided die...

2) young jim has pulled an alden, and now needs to have two birthday parties.

3) samantha had to hide her english teacher's dictionary, as she aldened much of her term paper.
by anon. July 07, 2004

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The greatest guy that you could ever meet also has diabetes ^_~
Alden is so fucking fat but he is great I love him.
by Hahahahah June 02, 2016

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