Astrology

A practice used to determine people’s personalities from the positions of stars and planets during their birthdays. Although it seems harmless, some idiots have used it to justify their hate for certain people.

Astrology lover: WhEn Is YoUr BiRtHdAy?
Normal person: November the-
Astrology lover: Ew YoUr A sCoRpIo GeT aWaY fRoM mE!!!1!1!
Normal person: What the hell is wrong with you?

Astrology by akt858 August 29, 2020

Areaology 

The worship of the all-encompassing Area, AKA David Bowie's crotch. A kind of pseudo-religious cult practise that involves repeatedly watching such films as 'The Man Who Fell to Earth' and 'Labyrinth' in which the Area stars. Areaologists believe that the Area is with them at all hours of the night and day and that its presence can be linked to the creation of the Earth and all its inhabitants.

Areaology is quickly becoming accepted throughout most English-speaking countries.

Areaology by Jackie Deram August 2, 2006

Astrology

Bullshit

Astrology is bullshit

Astrology by Yaboilongdong November 2, 2019

Astrology

Fake. No you’re not rude because you’re a Aries or Scorpio or whatever the fuck astrologers say.

I’m sorry baby, I’m just a Gemini so I cheat. Please take me back!

No Kelsey, stop blaming Astrology. The way the stars are lined up on your birthday is no excuse for you being an absolute cunt.

Date: Yeah I love astrology it’s totally 100% accurate.
Guy with brain; Ight Imma head out (leaves date)

Guy: I’m a Scorpio and my daily horoscope said that you have to suck my dick
Naive astrologer girl: Really? Ok!

Astrology by Justaguy31 November 30, 2021

portal astrology 

When anxious college applicants believes that any changes in their college admissions portal indicates whether or not they have been accepted or rejected. Commonly discussed about online on college-admissions forums.

"OMG MY PORTAL TEXT SHIFTED ONE PIXEL TO THE LEFT!!!"

"Bro OMG mine didn't. I think you got in!!! I believe in portal astrology"

portal astrology by udcollege March 30, 2021

afrology 

the study of the afro. Also known as afronomy.

When I was accepted into Harvard in late 1988, I decided to major in afrology.

afrology by TheAfrologist January 3, 2009

Astrology

Astrology is a pseudoscience used to predict and explain peoples lives based on the annual location of space rocks.
Often followed and practiced by idiots who have no understanding of physics and how the other planets do not change the outcome of events.
In many cases, when accused of practicing pseudoscience, the astrologer will likely make some claim about how “you believe in evolution and that the moon impacts the tides, so why shouldn’t I believe in this?” The answer simply being that there is actually scientific evidence to support scientific beliefs, and there’s nothing scientific about astrological bullshit.

Idiot: oh, you’d better not sign that contract today, it’s Mercury retrograde rn
Intellectual: I could not care less about your astrology bullshit
idiot: but, but, it means that things will go wrong and you’ll have bad luck
intellectual: no it doesn’t you uneducated addlepate. Go back to school

Astrology by Esrioas July 22, 2018