Aa-ron Wirtz
{air-un werts} proper noun, noun

Proper Noun:
A mildly handsome, unwillingly celebate, single man of Celtic origin. Aaron Wirtz is known for a hearty laugh and a boisterous demeanor. Although hard-headed, Aaron has a passionate work ethic and loves llamas. His current occupation, leaf sucking, oft leads to teary-eyed dreams of a better life in the fire service. Despite his twitchy disposition and apparent Tourette's affliction, Wirtzy is a creature of stoic poise and daring resolve.

noun:
One of seedy methods and motives.