by TheSaucayPecus April 3, 2018
Named for the Greek word "Biblios" ("Book") and considered the Holy Book by both Judaism and Christianity (which--at least at its inception--was considered a sect, branch, or spinoff of Judaism named "Messianic Judaism"--regardless of whether it was considered apostate, not-necessarily heretical but still heterodox, or legitimate/orthodox). The parts of the Bible that Normative (Mainstream, Non Messianic) Judaism and Messianic Judaism agree on are the books of Torah, Nevi'im, and Ketuvim--often called Tanakh. Where Judaism and Messianic Judaism divide is the point at which the New Testament (called "Hadashah" for "New" or "News") is eligible to be considered as part of Tanakh (written by some Messianic Jews as "TaNaKH" to include "Hadashah"; written as "TaNaKh" by some Non-Messianic Jews).
A respected or admired book that is not considered a holy book or even a religious text may irreverently or flippantly be called a, or even the, "bible" of its field, subject, or topic of study or exploration. For instance, one might call "The Communist Manifesto" a name such as "The bible of the Far Left," since Communists are very Leftist and subscribe orthodoxly to Karl Marx's and Frederich Engels' ideology as written in "Daas Manifesto".
by Nickidewbear June 14, 2013
used to express ultimate honesty, or to show that you're not playing around. derived from the act of swearing on the bible, or the short term 'swear on the bible.'
used like 'on god', 's2g', 'for real' or 'tbh' 'fact' etc
used like 'on god', 's2g', 'for real' or 'tbh' 'fact' etc
ex. bible, that last shot got me lit.
me: mane, she was a 10/10 bro.
homie: for real b?
me: on bible brodie, i've *been* throwing game.
me: that shirt is fire.
homie: bible??
me: bible.
me: mane, she was a 10/10 bro.
homie: for real b?
me: on bible brodie, i've *been* throwing game.
me: that shirt is fire.
homie: bible??
me: bible.
by cybermane May 14, 2018
Old Testament: God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple or GTFO" (cuz she's already showing tits) she chooses the former and then her and her fuck buddy Adam get b& from Eden for being troll bait. Then alot of serious fucking incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains alot, really)
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler for pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.
Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.
New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus more cheat codes then he gave Moses, plus the
rcon password for life and some CP.
Later, Jesus became a hardcore ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had God Mode turned on though, so he waited 2 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into lifes server, and laughed at the jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.
The End
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler for pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.
Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.
New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus more cheat codes then he gave Moses, plus the
rcon password for life and some CP.
Later, Jesus became a hardcore ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had God Mode turned on though, so he waited 2 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into lifes server, and laughed at the jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.
The End
I lol'd at the bible
by Hiebsy August 9, 2009
A collection of scriptures written by men such as, but not limited to, Moses, David, Solomon, Daniel, Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter, James, John, and Paul (formerly Saul). All were inspired by God and are considered holy and good for teaching, reproof, correction, & for training in righteousness. While faith is required, archeology has proven many aspects of Biblical accounts of history to be true, even by secularists who deny any supernatural elements. The Bible teaches that a virgin gave birth to the Son of God, (virgin birth sounds silly but God can do whatever he wants, because he literally controls the universe, so the point is moot). This Person, Jesus, lived sinlessly and was killed for telling the truth about his Godly nature and the hypocrisy of religious leaders of the time. He rose again three days later and his followers spread this message, with some receiving devine inspiration for their writings.
by Charlie 27 December 25, 2020