When you want to get up in there...but you are too wasted. You pray to Jesus to give you a massive boner.
by TheBonePolice January 9, 2019
noun: when a person gets really excited about jesus, the teachings/words of jesus, or anything relating to jesus. the reultant is a massive jesus boner.
While I was in church, I had the eerie feling that I was surrounded by about 150 jesus boners.
The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.
The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.
by the storm drains May 7, 2008
When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.
Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016
by Cuntmuffin995 September 5, 2019
by DickSucka69 March 5, 2018
When you are flaccid, but you really need to get up in there...You pray to Jesus and he delivers a massive boner.
by TheBonePolice January 9, 2019
A boner so holy that divine light is shed upon it and a choir of alter boys sing in the background. Morning wood becomes morning good.
by Narcoleptic Cactus June 16, 2018