(at the bar)
Danny: (drunkenly talking to a girl who approached him with bedroom eyes and the intention of
getting laid) "Hey baby, you do realize you are a total amazon, right? Mmmm, those lips, legs, breasts, and ass of yours! I really wanna nap with you tonight!"
Gertude: *giggles* "Sure hun, I'm sure you really need it! And for starters, my name is Gertrude!"
Danny: "While I don't think that that is the loveliest name I've ever heard, your manner and appearance really
make up for it! Giggidy giggidy!"
Gertrude: "Yeah really, little man! How would ya like some of my
lipstick on your dipstick, hmm?"
Danny: "Awwwwriiiight!"
*Suddenly Danny's friend Garrett runs out of nowhere and bodyslams Gertrude into a table*
Gertrude: "Hey why you little...!!?" *is knocked out temporarily for a few minutes*
Garrett: "Shut up, cheese hog and stay the fuck away from my homie here!"
Danny: "You asshole!! I was having a good time with my new bitch Gertrude and all of a sudden you break in to pussy block her for no reason!"
Garrett: "Dude. If you weren't so spaced out, you'd have an idea how fat and weather beaten that girl is. You obviously thought her name was the only ugly thing about her thanks to your beer goggles."
Danny: *hic* "Huh?? Well man you do know, that I'm also attracted to fat women right?"
Garrett: "But, but, you, um..."
Danny: "Whatever! She's MINE now so accept it, like it or not! *goes over to Gertrude, who was now getting up* Okay baby, let's go to my apartment and
hit the sack! I'm really jonesin for some more cushion for the pushin!"
Gertrude: Yay! Let's go sweetie and let's get horizontal with each other!
*Still inebriated, Danny walks out the bar with his fat sow and returns to his appartment with her for a night of love making that would eventually blossom into a "beautiful"
relationship, regardless of Gertrude's appearance after Danny sobering up."
Mark H.
Urban slang contributer since February 2004.
