computard 

One who lacks proficiency and competence within the field of computers to the extent at which he or she is an annoyance to others. A computard is prone to asking inane questions requiring one to break an explanation down to mere two word steps consiting of one verb and one noun (i.e. move mouse, click icon, etc).

Dude, this one computard once asked me how to extract a zip file and I was like "Dude download WinRAR" and he was like "how do I download" and I was like "WTF dude".

computard by Vishal Agarwala July 6, 2004

commuter dan

an extremely deep yet sarcastic, cynical, and intelligent person who likes to untag himself on facebook. often causes laughter and has facebook profile pictures that are literary allusions.

did you read commuter dan's article? it was so deep and he got a 19/20!

commuter dan by residential emily & lena July 8, 2009

Tell-ya-commuter 

Different then a work from home telecommuter, a tell-ya-commuter spends every moment of their work commute talking on their cell phone with a relative, friend, or neighbor about whatever random mundane subject pops into their mind.

Although they had no reason to talk, Jim could expect a call from Dave every day at 8:07AM as Dave became a tell-ya-commuter on his way to the office.

Tell-ya-commuter by PoorDavid May 30, 2016

School Computers 

They barely work nowdays.

We don't use Windows 7 (aka School Computers), we use Windows 10.

School Computers by ROBLOX #1 Fan November 12, 2018

Does not compute 

A phrase often used by computers and robots in science fiction TV shows and movies, meaning failure to understand.

The phrase has been attributed to the comedy TV show ‘My Living Doll’.

Does not compute. Please say that again in plain English.

Does not compute by AuntyMouse April 12, 2009

Commuterbation 

Masturbating discretely while on public transportation. Often done via pockets in trousers. More daringly, while sitting down, some individuals will even unzip their fly and insert hand into area with the concealment of a bag on lap.

I was on the subway last night and this smoking hot chick sat in front of me. I put my hands in pocket and immediately commenced vigorous commuterbation.

Commuterbation by Royds-McLloyds March 15, 2011

Cumputer 

A computer entirely dedicated to porn

My mom almost discovered my cumputer

Cumputer by I-Be-Pimpin April 24, 2017