A fucktard wannabe vampire that is in love with Bella, a fucktard herself. (Omg they should make babies of the FUCKTARD species! Oh, wait! Don't they already have a fucktard child?) He's a vegetarian vampire. A vampire that sucks on animal blood. Not human. And he SPARKLEZ? Nice, he sparkles, also. Yeah, I think Stephanie Meyer got the wrong idea of a REAL VAMPIRE. He's just a faggot pansy fairy that stalks Bella. (Apparently that's "romance" to him) Bella is even more of a fucktard that she even FELL for him! Are you serious?
P.S. If you have NOT read the Twilight Saga, DON'T! JUST DON'T! Don't touch that series if you value your brain cells. That alone is one of the government's conspiracy theories that's gonna kill us all.
P.S. If you have NOT read the Twilight Saga, DON'T! JUST DON'T! Don't touch that series if you value your brain cells. That alone is one of the government's conspiracy theories that's gonna kill us all.
Twifan: Like, Oh my god. Edward Cullen is so darn cute! You should read Twilight!
Person: Yeah, I rather not. I'd love to keep my brain cells.
Twifan: How can you survive without reading TWILIGHT?! IT'S THE BEST!!!
Person: Unlike you, I actually want to pass and graduate.
Person: Yeah, I rather not. I'd love to keep my brain cells.
Twifan: How can you survive without reading TWILIGHT?! IT'S THE BEST!!!
Person: Unlike you, I actually want to pass and graduate.
by allergictobullshit May 2, 2010
a fucking piece of bull shit. He's from a fucking book. Not even worth calling a real vampire - a disgrace.
"OMG! I LIKE LOOOVE Edward Cullen. He is SOO HAWT!!
shut up bitch, its a stupid book charactor. get a life.
shut up bitch, its a stupid book charactor. get a life.
by FUCKINGCHUCKNORIS November 11, 2008
A fag who plans to find over 9000 of the fangirls who masturbate to images of his shrimpdick and cum colored face and then fucks a gay cowboy and dies of AIDS.
And then he will rise from the dead and Anonymous will cut his penis off and then proceed to rub their genitals on his face and then set his faggot body on fire and the world will continue as it was before the fat Mormon who created the monstrosity known as Twilight became known to the current world.
Then the war on Hot Topic and emo children will once again rage on.
The end.
And then he will rise from the dead and Anonymous will cut his penis off and then proceed to rub their genitals on his face and then set his faggot body on fire and the world will continue as it was before the fat Mormon who created the monstrosity known as Twilight became known to the current world.
Then the war on Hot Topic and emo children will once again rage on.
The end.
Prima: Edward Cullen is such a faggot.
Secunda: O RLY?
Prima: YA RLY.
Secunda: NO WAI!!11!
(Bricks are shat as Secunda then proceeds to divide by zero.)
Secunda: O RLY?
Prima: YA RLY.
Secunda: NO WAI!!11!
(Bricks are shat as Secunda then proceeds to divide by zero.)
by Afroduck's Sidekick February 16, 2009
Edward Cullen is an idiotic 107 year old virgin who got his glowing crap from the Chernobyl accident, and should die!
Person 1: LIKE OMG, I'm not gonna marry until I find someone like Edward Cullen!!!
Person 2: I hope you like dying alone...
Person 2: I hope you like dying alone...
by Randomanzkid August 21, 2009
n. person, Ed-ward Cull-en : A fictional character/ monster made up in the diseased imagination of an old, horny woman. He is said to sparkle when in the sun, for some odd, non- understandable reason. He is in the dreams of millions of teenage girls and their mothers. His followers are called Twi-hards, and are attracted to him by some telepathic connection, which makes them want a vampire, who writes bad poetry, as a husband. His fictional, worst enemy, is a werewolf, named Jacob, who has nice teeth (Many suspect them to be gay lovers). The fact or impression they are gay lovers is dashed by his love of 14-year old girls. Whom, he stares at while they sleep, with what many call in rapey fashion.
Twi-hard - "I got a message from "Edward Cullen" last night
Twi-hard 2 - " Really, what was it?"
Twi-hard - " He wants me to meet or turn me, I hope!"
Twi-hard 2 - "You are soooo lucky!"
Twi-hard - "I know!!!!!"
Twi-hard 2 - " Really, what was it?"
Twi-hard - " He wants me to meet or turn me, I hope!"
Twi-hard 2 - "You are soooo lucky!"
Twi-hard - "I know!!!!!"
by Mr. Spam June 27, 2011
1. A shiny, pedophile version of a vampire who neither sleeps in coffins OR turn into a bat or bat-like liquid.
2. A female version of hentai, except without the pictures.
2. A female version of hentai, except without the pictures.
by TheBatFunk June 28, 2010